'Tis the Season to be Jolly....

I suffer from 3 phobias:
I hate flying. To be more precise I hate my feet leaving the ground and even climbing on a chair is enough to induce a panic attack.
I hate paying bills but I suspect that may be universal and
I hate Post Offices, any Post office, anywhere.
With Christmas practically upon us I've had to steel myself and have spent more time there than I'm comfortable with....
Monday I was in the queue waiting to post cards and trying to eavesdrop the muttered conversation behind me when the door swings open and a voice shouts
Man: Whose is the Renault 5 outside?
Woman: Why?
Man: You've left it in the middle of the road and it's blocking all the traffic No one can move....
Woman: Well if there were two windows open I'd have been quicker.
Man: Bewildered. But that's not the point...
Woman bustles out.

Tuesday I was back with Daughter. I had a packet to send and H. wanted proof of posting. No big deal but the assistant tries to sell me a method of posting that costs twice as much. Basically it's the same service but I can follow the progress of the packet on the computer.
I appreciate the thought but my life is not yet so devoid of excitement that this is tempting and then she made the fatal mistake of turning to my daughter and saying: "You could do that for your maman, couldn't you. Follow it on the computer for her."
So I hit her round the head with my zimmer frame.....