Tales From The Exam Room

It's been a busy one, this week. Son's been doing mock International Baccalaureate exams and has thus had a totally new timetable that's had me running back and fro Nice like an idiot....all week. So even the mums get to do a practice run.

He's not tempting fate by telling us how he felt it went but he's plenty of remarks to make about his invigilators: noisy shoes, coughing too loud...anyone who's ever sat an exam will know. As an ex teacher invigilator these are some of my favourite stories read over the shoulders of innocent students:

Finding a piece of paper on a student's table with the words "Bo Peep did it for the insurance"...

Looking at an answer paper with what looked like a picture of Clint Eastwood from his spaghetti western days on. Next to it was the caption "Moses was outlawed.".

Another pupil wrote "He got on the train and it set off with a jerk..."

A favourite of mine was "He kept a giant Brian in a jar" Not a nice thought.

Then there was the time when because of a bomb alarm the school was evacuated except for the pupils taking public exams and the staff invigilating. It was thought that as that was the third alarm in a week and that as the school was a quiet place in the middle of the countryside it was unlikely to be an Al Quaida target. So comforting watching everyone file out...

But the best exam story happened in France when I was ferrying 2 teenagers home from school after a public exam. Neighbour boy answered his mobile phone and from the driving seat I could hear an agitated screeching noise coming from the phone and Neighbour Boy was saying No, No, I handed it in. No, I'm sure and was all the while rifling through his bag.
I braked.
He rifled some more and came up with his exam answer sheet which he had forgotten to hand in.
Remember this is a public exam here!
We went back to school and handed the paper in. Poor boy. Everyone knew ....and laughed.
Next week should see us back to normal or, in the immortal words of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: " once we establish what is normal anyway."